19 January 2011

It's a New Year!

So it's about 3 weeks into the New Year and I am finally writing. It took me a long time to figure out what my "resolutions" were going to be for this year. Why? Because I wanted to do a real internal examination of myself and make my resolutions lasting and not something silly and meaningless.
For starters, I will begin with the most superficial: losing ALL baby weight and getting back to my wedding size before I get pregnant again....and getting back to my pre-Baby Blue size by her 1st birthday. The latter won't be as difficult as I'm already almost there. I'm really excited about it and figure this is a good goal before each new baby. Some would say it's vanity, but I would have to disagree. I'm not trying to be a size 2 or 100 lbs. For goodness sake, that would not be healthy for my body type. I've started going to the gym 3 times a week and have 12 free training sessions! When I told my trainer (a very thin 19 year old who I nicely told, "No you may not pinch my belly fat, you wouldn't understand"!) my end-goal she actually suggested staying 5 lbs above that for a healthy weight. I was glad to have that guidance since I was often accused of having an eating disorder in college because I was so thin. (Did my friends not always see me eating?! Anyway....) I think as a woman it can be so easy to get caught up in the weight and pant size instead of realizing what's best for your body and loving it that way. It can go both ways- some have to lose and others mgiht look and feel better putting on some weight. Eating hasn't really changed at all, which I'm totally fine with ;) I eat all the time like I used to because if I don't, my insulin drops and I'm miserable, dizzy and mean (and I'm serious; it's a familial/genetical thing). I eat extremely healthy. My only vice is that darn 1/2 gallon of ice cream in the freezer at night. Eh, whatever! LOL
Facebook and blogging: these two things have been a menace. No really. I know it doesn't seem like that for my blog, but I had 10 unpublished posts that I just deleted. And why did I delete them you may ask? They were mostly meant to educate and I don't want to be one of those people who comes across as knowing everything about everything. I know I'm an intelligent, well-educated, confident woman and shouldn't feel the need to prove it to everybody. Also, I figure there's enough out there that if people want a perspective on health, food, homeopathy, parenting, marriage, etc. they can find it. People don't want to hear this stuff from me! If they want my take on something, they'll ask me and I'll be happy to give my input but it drives me crazy when people think it's their "duty" to educate people on the "right" way (usually in their minds, the only way) to do something. It's insulting, really. If you're anything like Dan or I, you suffer from "knee-jerk syndrome": automatically doing something different because you're expected to do it the other way. As a side note, we've gotten much better about it, but still, I cannot stand when people question our decisions about pregnancy, birth, the girls, food, vaccines, etc. Ah! (Just wait until people hear what we are planning for our birth next time;) No questions, please, it'll be a complete surprise to everyone, especially coming from Dan!) Now that's not to say that if I see or hear a friend doing or struggling with something that I won't offer a suggestion, but I've tried phrasing it: "Would you like my input? I won't be offended if you don't use it.". I'm not saying I'm going to keep everything I've learned to myself; I just don't like that "duty" attitude that I encounter.
To go along with that I am trying really really hard not to post anything negative, even in sarcasm, on facebook. Yes, I failed the other day: So THAT'S why the girls have been miserable this week. Ruby Red has a temp of 104 and is so pitiful and seeing that Baby Blue slept in until 9:30, went down for a nap at 11 and is still sleeping, I'm thinking she's fighting it too. And, Dan's about to leave us for a week. Yay! Well, I'll just try again; I never said it would come easy. After fighting my friends for a whole year in college, I resigned myself to the fact that I was eventually going to use facebook, but only as a means of keeping in touch with friends and household sisters. That expanded when Dan and I lived in Maryland for 5 months, as we wanted to share pictures of Ruby Red with family. That's it! That's all I ever wanted fb for. The darn thing seems to take over sometimes as I get into a discussion or disagreement and even stand up for things like the way I parent or the way we live. It's ridiculous! I want people to know that I'm a devoted Catholic mother who, for the most part, practices attachment parenting and lives a holistic life but why do I feel the need to bombard people with statements that they should do it that way too? Everyone that matters to me knows how I do things. If they agree with me, great! If they don't, at least they know where I stand and that I'm around if they have questions and hopefully we have a mutual respect for each other. So, to summarize, I will be keeping facebook simple this year. My blog will be more of a "diary" for me to look deeper into myself and to reminisce about the two greatest little girls in the world that we have been blessed with! This is really to help me grow as a person. It's kind of like Lent all the time... and that is meant to be a good thing ;)

I am not off to tend to the girlies. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Oh yeah, for those of you who haven't heard yet, we're getting chickens in the spring! I'm so excited!