20 April 2011

It's A______!!!!!

As soon as people hear that you're having a baby the next question is usually, "Are you finding out?" No matter what the answer, you either get the nod of approval or the reason they did it differently, as if they have to defend their decision. Many even seek to put your decision down. I know because I've been there.

I never thought I would be one to find out the sex of my babies until I became pregnant. With Ruby Red I just had to know. I like to be very "hands-off" with pregnancy and birth, but I do believe that one or two sonograms is ok. I loved knowing that Ruby Red was a girl, buying pretty pink and purple things, referring to her as a "she" instead of "he/she" (careful not to call baby an "it"), and calling her by name. It was so wonderful to bond with her in this special way for 5 whole months before I saw her precious little face. And, it WAS a surprise!

~Debunking the "surprise" agrument: When people say,"We like to be surprised" it's such a weak argument because whether it's at 16 weeks or 40 weeks, you're going to be surprised! I don't think one way is the right way; it's up to you and your spouse and whatever you decide is perfectly fine! And when your aunt or whoever says they didn't do sonograms when they were having babies, well Auntie, it doesn't mean we're nervous about something being wrong with our baby or that we're too impatiant. We're excited, this bonding and calling baby by name is special to some and technology evolves so it's ok if we're doing it different from you. It doesn't mean "your way" was wrong!~

We decided to wait until the birth to find out with Baby Blue. We couldn't wait to know what it felt like to wait until the end and have that moment after laboring to have a wonderful surprise. Almost everyone in the family, myself included, was sure that she was a boy since the pregnancy was so completely different from Ruby Red's. I didn't want to think about the baby as either a boy or girl, but it just sort of happened and I was so sure. We had an eventful birth with Baby Blue in the car and as she was laid on my chest, I still didn't know if she was a boy or girl. I finally asked and my mom peeked to let all of us know. I was shocked, yet it wasn't the initial surprising feeling and anticipation of waiting that I expected.  (When you unexpectedly have a baby in the car, that shock kind of takes over any other.) I loved my little girl and was so excited that Ruby Red had a little sister to play with. I loved having a sister close in age to me and was really happy they'd have the same opportunity growing up. But, I do wish we had found out earlier so that I could have treasured that moment of finding out, instead of trying to keep her warm, wishing I could nurse her and hoping that the unlatched door wouldn't fly open on the highway. I know this is an extraordinary experience and most don't have to worry about this; but since I seem to have my babies quickly, we have decided to have that "moment" again around 17 weeks. I know many love waiting until the end and it is so special for them, and maybe with the next baby we will wait; who really knows!

So, today was the day! My husband and I were so excited for this day to come. We took the girls, my sister and my mom with us to the sonogram, although we didn't find out right there in the room with the ultrasound technician- I wanted it more personal than that. After the appointment we split ways with my mom and sister and the four of us (my husband, Ruby Red, Baby Blue and I) headed out to lunch. We had previously asked the ultrasound tech to write "winner" on a piece of paper, and place the name in either a blue Easter egg for a boy or pink egg for a girl, then drop them in my purse. When we got to the restaurant we had Ruby Red take the eggs out of the purse and open them to reveal baby....and

It's a girl!!!!! My sweet little Sophie!!!

Praise God for all of His blessings in our life!

May you always find peace with your decisions as parents, especially when you are criticized for such silly and harmless things!


  1. Today was one of the happiest of my life! Thank you!

  2. I'm so happy for you guys! And I may just steal this entire post for my blog. :) I agree about one way or the other not being wrong! It's nice either way!

  3. Absolutely! I was surprised at birth with the first 7, but was surprised while pregnant with my last two. It was great both ways! What I loved most about knowing ahead of time was knowing their names. Calling the unborn baby by his or her first name for months before the birth was such a joy! What a blessing to revisit this joy with you, Dan and Amanda!

  4. We're so excited for you all! :) :) :) Another beautiful niece on the way!! :)

  5. (And thank you for pointing out that it is ok either way - I've been criticized for not ever finding out, which annoys me because I don't mind if people want to find out... and I totally understand why they do - in fact, this time has been the hardest time for me NOT finding out... but it has to be a decision totally left up to the parents, whether they want a sonogram, whether they want to find out but keep it secret, or whether they want to tell everyone... it's always going to be a special moment for them to remember for the rest of their lives, whenever it happens. Tim and I enjoy being the first ones to see for ourselves "what" the baby is at birth (he usually sees first, but with Ryan I actually saw first, because my arms were closer and I lifted him from the birth pool water), and to hear the surprise and shock in everyone's voices when we tell them (or yell it, or cry it, if they are present ;) ) ...but if I ever felt that I needed a sonogram, I would absolutely want the technician to tell me because I don't want anyone else knowing something I don't! ;) And then yes, we would probably tell everyone. :) I can't imagine keeping something like that secret, LOL. :) But we know that our decision not to find out 'til the end has to be OUR decision, and if we wanted to find out sooner than birth, that would be OUR decision, too! :) Something like that is too personal and precious to be decided upon by anyone else.)