It's a question that loomed like a big gray raincloud over my head for months before I decided on how I was going to handle potty-training Ruby Red. She showed much interest at 15 months and I thought, "Hey, let's get this done before the new baby!" Well, 15 months was too young for her...and me. I wasn't ready to commit and she would only sit on the toilet to hear the squeals of delight from mommy and daddy. At 18 months I decided it was time. ...And then Baby Blue was born when my oldest was 20 months. Ruby Red saw her little sister in diapers and I was too tired and always nursing, so I became very lax with the whole thing. I will never again try potty-training a child while I'm pregnant, unless I'm very early in the pregnancy and the child is older than 18 months, maybe even 2 yrs.
This past Thanksgiving, as Ruby Red was almost 2 1/2, I was finally ready to commit. I wanted it over and done with already so I told her I was putting her in "big girl panties". I bought the economy size bag of m&m's, a bunch of stickers and off we went. I cleared our schedules for the entire week, made sure we didn't have a busy weekend coming up and only put her in pull-ups for nap and bedtime. We had quite a few mishaps the 1st few days, but I have to say that it was quite a long-lasting success in the end! Of course with the holidays, traveling and sickness, we had a few regressions but I think we can officially say we've done it! I still put her in pull-ups for nap and bedtime, but I really could probably stop naptime since she's always dry and uses the same pull-up until it gets a funny odor, but I'm too afraid to try. Maybe I'll give that a "go" next week!
As a reference I flipped to the potty-training section of Gary Ezzo's book On Becoming ToddlerWise. To be honest, this is the only thing I got out of the entire book. I read both this book of his and the BabyWise one, both books extremely criticized by most attachment-parenting mothers. But a friend suggested them to me and so I read them. As a side note, they're not all bad. He uses some parenting techniques that are a little more rigid than I would ever choose, but they're not the horrible, harsh books that typefy the mom who doesn't love or care about her children, like I've heard them described. All in all, really the only thing I got out of these books was the potty-training part but different parenting practices are better suited for all sorts of parents, babies and families.
What did you do to potty-train your child/children? How long did it take? Did you do it over the course of a year or a week?
Gosh Pip is still working on it. We started around 18 months. She would willingly sit on the little potty, and occasionally, pee would come out. When she first realized that we would go crazy when she peed in it, she started doing it more and more. By her 2nd birthday, she was doing both in the little potty. I was still putting her in a pull-up when we went out during the day. She wasn't always telling me she had to go unless we were at home, and I was forgetting to just take her to the nearest public toilet every couple of hours. She still sleeps in a diaper or pull-up at nap time and bed time because she is not getting up yet when she has the urge. I was always perplexed about this scenario because I have to wonder, do I leave her be? Do I wake her up to go potty? Right now, I don't dare wake her up. I kind of figure she will do that on her own eventually. Now, when we go out during the day, she wears her undies, and I am more committed to just putting her on a nearby toilet. I learned that if I ask her, "do you have to go potty?" the answer is always, ALWAYS, "no mommy. I don't have to." ;) So needless to say, we do not discuss...I just take her in there and put her on the toilet. I have also started carrying around post-its in my purse. Pip gets completely freaked out when she sees the auto-flush toilets because they make that horrendous noise. If you stick a post-it over the sensor, it won't flush until you take it off. As far as I know, we're doing pretty well with the potty training as long as both of us hold up our ends. :) It took about a full 8 months before she got the hang of it. This includes being able to climb up onto the big potty, go potty without me, then be able to get off and pull up her underwear and pants, close lid, flush and then wash her hands etc. We still have setbacks, but she's pretty consistent at this point. :)
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about a 15 month old showing interest. Little Olive now tells me when she "pooooo"s. It's so tempting to start since I feel like she understands, but I've always said I would wait till she was older. So I am. But as we all know...my kid's so advanced she'll potty train herself someday. ;P
ReplyDeleteThe post it note thing is a wonderful idea! When I took Lena to the "infamous appointment" in February, the one thing I had going for me was that she was potty trained for the most part and they were amazed, as if I was super mom. I think she was just ready. All kids are ready at different ages. I had a friend who's daughter was completely potty trained by 18 mo- she made me feel like such a lazy mom. Now I know better...
ReplyDeleteThey all do it in their own time...my oldest took quite a while and did not want to start until she was 2...but there were many accidents with her. My middle child pretty much trained herself because she saw mommy and her big sis doing it...let's see how it goes with baby #3...
ReplyDeleteLOVE the post-it idea!!!! Those things still scare Therese - she jumps off as soon as they start to flush!
ReplyDeleteTimmy showed a LOT of interest by 18 months, and liked to go on the toilet. By the time Therese was born when he was just 2, he lost all interest (as did I... it was a lot easier to change a diaper than to constantly rush him off to the bathroom the *second* he needed to go, with the new baby in tow). His little butt was too small for big-boy underwear at that point anyway. By the time he was 3, he had basically potty-trained himself and we never made a big deal out of it. I honestly don't remember when Therese was completely trained, but I know it was by the time Ryan was born, before she turned 3.
Ryan, meanwhile, had a time when he LOVED going on the "big-boy seat" and when he has loved standing on the stool to aim in the toilet... ;) but now he is suddenly terrified of it again. So I'm not pushing him, because I don't want him to learn to hate the toilet. I know he'll come back around and want to do it like the big kids within the next few months - and honestly, again, it's been easier with me being on bedrest to just change him a few times a day, then to constantly ask/remind him if he has to go. So, we'll see what happens with him - but I'm sure he'll do it all in his own time. Besides, we told him that he can't wear pull-ups anymore if he wants to play hockey this fall. ;) That may be the deciding factor for him! :)
And yes - they DO do it at their own time... my sister's first daughter wasn't really potty-trained until age 3, but her second daughter potty-trained herself, cold-turkey, at just over a year old... 13 or 14 months! No one thought she'd be ready, but she put those undies on and that was it - no accidents, even at night. Just like her mama... my sister was the same way. Crazy!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I took the lazy way out and just waited until they were ready. My oldest two were ready at 2 years 4 months (but who's counting? :) ) And the others were around 3 when they made the jump. Doing it this way meant longer diapering, but when they made the switch, it seemed to work without too many accidents. Not accident free, mind you, but fewer. I admire mom's who do a more structured method of training, though. I think it takes so much more patience and diligence than I ever had!
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is a lazy way. I had to learn not to be guilt-tripped into waiting with Lena. Honestly it wasn't hard this last time because she truly was ready. If she hadn't been, I probably wouldn't have kept up with it!
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